“Learn to be thankful for what you already have, while you pursue all that you want.” —Jim Rohn
During this quarantine, I found myself agitated that I was stuck at home, and annoyed that there was not much to do around. It is too early for gardening, we do not have any kids, cannot really go into the mountains or see the friends. You know how it is… I got even bored when simply listing all the activities in my head I could do like reading a book, watching a show, working on my paint by numbers project, or cook something (or eat something). I was not really motivated to learn anything else like another language or another hobby or workout. I was in this lazy bored state of mind and of course, I started feeling guilty about that state…
Then, one evening when we were about to watch yet another YouTube video, a story came up as an ad. It was the one from Toyota about the girl who lost her legs and then became a para snowboarder (Amy Purdy). This motivational story just hit me.
It made me remember my severe depression I experienced six years ago, and the days of last year when my husband was at warzone. Gratitude overwhelmed; tears came up in my eyes. I felt grateful that I can feel normal, have a normal life, then I can just read a book or do my painting without any panic attacks or anxiety. I felt grateful that my husband came back from deployment right before all the protests happened in the Middle East and before the virus started spreading around. It hit me that I can do all my hobbies not to just get distracted from my aggravating devastating depressing thoughts but do what I love and make time pass. I was thankful that I have normality, a life without anxiety, life without regrets or reliving your past, life without panic attacks, life with good night sleep and having a purpose. That’s how normality is defined for me. However, I think that I got used to this normality to the point where I did not appreciate it.
Now, I do not feel guilty or bored because I do not have much to do. I do not need to constantly look for activities just to keep my mind still. Once this realization happened, I noticed that I gained more motivation in daily things, I started finding more joy in each day. Gratitude is powerful.