Fear of missing out

“Every person has a train of thought on which they travel when they are alone. The dignity and nobility of their life, as well as their happiness depend upon the direction in which that train is going, the baggage it carries and the scenery through which it travels”.
Joseph Fort Newton

Am I choosing the best spot for camping? Am I going on the best flowery hike around? Am I missing out on another trip with other friends? That’s what happened to me when I was planning my recent camping trip. I would spend the whole evening reading reports, scanning FB hiking groups and maps. I would wake up in the middle of the night feeling overwhelmed and having nightmares. I wanted it to be a perfect trip. There is nothing wrong with it, right? Or is it called perfectionism? Or is it overload of information and choices from Social Media and trip reports? Is it obsessive thinking? I think that it is all about fear of missing out (apparently, it is called FOMO and it is a real thing, was even added to the Oxford Dictionary in 2013! https://adaa.org/ – had no idea!)

As far as I can remember, I always felt like I was missing out on “good stuff”. Parties, trips, friends, things. I was depressed, unhappy, dissatisfied with everything going on with my life. All because of the ideal images in my head that others always have more fun than I do. I would be on a summer break from school helping my parents in their large garden, weeding, watering, and being miserable because I just saw on TV that folks of my age who lived in larger cities were having beach parties and city walks and bar crawls. And I was here in this small town missing out. Thank God there was no Facebook or Instagram back then. I have no idea how kids are dealing with it now.

I am not so bad now actually, I am mostly struggling with it during the planning portion but not with the experience itself. It took awhile for sure… I am also a perfectionist (it is going to be another post for sure on that). It is hard for me to plan trips, select hotels, gifts, organize parties.

I used to feel terrible when my friends would start organizing the event and not include me, plan a trip for the time when I could not make it, not to be able to come to parties or happy hours. How come I would be missing all the fun? Why do thing not evolve around me?

And then I took control. I realized that this feeling, this fear are making me miserable and I am in a constant stress. I realized that me having fun does not have to depend on other people’s plans and schedules and what they have going on. I can plan my own things. I can invite coworkers on happy hours when I can do them. I can plan my own camping and hiking trips or host parties. And I am having a good time with it. I grew more confidence, I became less stressed, less anxious.

As far as planning and obsessive thinking and choosing best options…. Well – it is still work in progress.

Why blogging

Best thoughts come when I am out in the nature, or before bed

The question of why follows me everywhere and sometimes I am at loss and don’t know the answer… and it is ok not to. The idea of blogging came when I was at home, not even on a hike (it would be cool to say so though), but I am sure that nature is a huge part of it because I spent that whole day outdoors. So when I asked myself a question of why I wanted to start writing a blog and make it public, I didn’t have the answer, I had Terror. Terror of what other people would think of my writing and my stories and my thinking. It would mean that I would welcome strangers into my mind. It is a mess out there. And here came the answer. Organize. This blog would help me organize, my mind, my thoughts. Then my mind asked me: why not just journal and write in your diary? Here came another answer. Share and help others learn. We are all humans (comes philosophical part of me…). We all live and think and dwell. Dwell on our thoughts, dwell on our life, behavior, situations and everything that makes our life. So, why not share my reflections with others?

Welcome aboard!

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

I like simple. I like complicated too. But I definitely like to read ideas that are explained in a simple way. I would read something easy but so full of truth and meaning like this quote above. Such a truth in a simple sentence. I would write simple too and you decide what is true for you! And here you are on my train of mind! Welcome!

here I am and here I go

Well. Here I am writing. I do not like writing but I do like thinking so here you are reading my thoughts! It is funny how I first wrote a post about Why Blogging and then I realized that I had to tell this part. I guess, introduction? In short, I am an immigrant female living in the US who enjoys adventures, traveling, thinking, planning, schedules, self improvement, good books, good people, sincerity, openness, kindness, laughter. I do not like cooking, poetry, white water kayaking, my current job and being on my phone a lot. I do some of these things because I have to.

All the pictures you see in my blogs are taken by me personally, expect for the very first one. It was offered to me by WordPress during the set up and it just spoke to me so I left it.

You might find my blogs boring and with a bunch of rambling thoughts or you may find them relating to you and your life. I am here and I want to share my thoughts, my perspectives and have conversations with others. I like to relate to other people and other people’s experiences.

Create your website at WordPress.com
Get started